The Hear To

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

While how-to marriage books and seminars certainly have their value and place, on their own the miss the key issue.  It’s not really about how to; far more often, it’s about whether we have the heart to.

We all know how to please our mate, but do we have the heart to?

Most wives and husbands know what their husbands/wives want.  Most have a basic understanding of how to please him or her. The real question is, do you have the heart to do what you know how to do?

When we first laid eyes on our spouses and decided to make them ours, we found a way to attract and maintain their attention.  We had far less knowledge of our spouses then than we have today-but we also had the heart then, and that made all the difference.

Where is your heart?  Take time to ask God how he thinks you’re doing?

A Soul Filled With God

Psalm 27:4

The Message (MSG)

 ⁴ I’m asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
I’ll study at his feet.

Personal worship is an absolute necessity for a strong marriage. It comes down to this: If I stop receiving from God, I start demanding from others.  Instead of cherishing my spouse, I become aware of their shortcomings.  I take out my frustrations with a less-than-perfect life and somehow blame them for my lack of fulfillment.

It’s simply not fair to ask your spouse to fulfill you.  No one can.  If you expect your spouse to be God for you, your spouse will fail every day and on every account.   Only one can love you like God, with perfect, constantly steady, and giving love – and that is God himself.

The best thing you can do for your marriage is to fill your soul with God.

 And thank God for the person he put you with because you know nobody else would put up with you. 

Fame Is Trumped by Intimacy

Song of Solomon 7:10    I belong to my lover; and his desire is for me.

Ladies and non Sports fans this week’s devotion probably does not cause you to connect with John Wooden one of the greatest College Basketball coaches ever.  Forget all the basketball stuff; forget the number of national championships. The devotion talks about letters he writes and how much he misses his wife after she died.   Focus on the section that says “So often, we ignore our marriages in pursuit of high acclaim” I would include in here the pursuit of money to buy stuff.   The question is do you show your mate how much they mean to you now?  Ladies what are you doing to show you man that you LIKE him.  Men what are you doing to show your woman that you LIKE her.   Goals for this next week is for the comments to be men bragging on something your woman did to show she likes you.  Ladies your comment needs to be bragging on your man of what he did to show he likes you.

I don’t want stuff like he/she is always there for me. 

This means Men do something !!!!!

This means Ladies do something !!!!

Don’t Look Back

 

2 Corinthians 5:17

 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

|———————-|——————-|—————————————-

 

Birth              Salvation                  NOW             ||||||||DEATH ||||||||

 

This devotion talks about looking back.  I would like to deviate from the
information in the devotion and look back, look now and look forward.

You know when you were Born, when your got Saved and Today’s Date.
The next part of life are events that lead to Death.  I am a lot
closer to the Death Line than I am to the Birth Line.   Looking back are there
things I would do different, Oh My yes.  Today look at your time line in a way that you Really, really, realize how the things you do and don’t do effect your spouse, your kids and those around you.  Take the time God had given you now, because only God knows how much time you have,  and give it back to those who love you.

 

 

The Gift of Fear

I feared the anger and the wrath of the Lord.
Deuteronomy 9:19

Do you remember never looking under the bed at night and being afraid to even look at the closet door for fear it would open.  These were real feelings.  Let’s make it not so scary.  Remember the fear of disappointing your parent and the fear of what would happen “if they found out”

God is gracious-yes! God is merciful-absolutely! God is kind and good and loving and caring – no doubt!.  BUT it is still a fearful thing to offend God, to fall into his holy hands, for he is a just God with the power and might and will to carry out judgments against those who offend him. 

I think something mature Christian’s do (Steve Sr.) is we lose our fear when we become so called mature Christian’s.  I am not afraid to look under the bed at night or open the closed door at night because now I am mature.   I so want my fear of God to cause those inner quivers of fear to actually cause outward expressions. 

It was many years ago when Beverly was moving back from Palm Beach Atlantic. Steven and I were driving a rental truck with all the stuff from Bev’s apartment. It started to rain and storm as we were driving back to Fort Myers. I asked Steven who do you fear more God or this storm? He sat there and was thinking about the question when all of the sudden a bolt of lightning and the unbelievable loud boom of thunder rocked the truck.  Steven shouted out God its God I fear more than this storm that is what I was thinking and going to say. 

The best gift you can give your spouse is to fear the God who made both of you.  That is truly a gift that keeps on giving. 

Do you Fear God??

God’s Son, God’s Daughter

Isaiah 49:15-16

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
And have no compassion on the child she has borne
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.

Since all of you have children you can relate to the statement in this week’s devotion, “If you want to get on my good side just be good to one on my kids, Conversely, if you want
to make me angry, pick my kids”  How true this is. For Bev and I this also applies to grandkids.

The topic that is brought to the surface in this devotion is do you realize that you wife/husband is Gods child?  God as a father-in-law and you are married to his child, Wow!! 

Bev and I prayed that each one of our children would choose wisely.  As the earthly father-in-law I approve and thank God for the wise choices. 

Think about how you treated your husband or wife this past week-is that how you want your son or daughter to be treated by his or her spouse.  Never forget: you didn’t just marry a man or a woman
you married God’s son or God’s daughter.

 

Growing Old Together

Isaiah 25:1

O Lord you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things.

I see in Tom and Ellie, in their seventies or eighties frail creatures physically but strong in love, how they walk  together as a unit from slot machine to slot machine.   Their favorite is the  “wheel of fortune”  penny machine.  Yes I said penny as in 1 cent.  They giggle and cheer each other on.  They will play and when their winnings exceed their investment (this almost always happens its amazing) they will cash out stick the ticket in their pocket  AND THEN put another $10.00 in the machine.  And do it again, and again.  Finally they get up cash in their tickets pocket the cash have lunch and THEN do it again.  Walking from machine to machine arm in arm you would think they were dating.  What a great example of persevering as they will celebrate 60 years of marriage this year.  Have they had issues of course, do Bev and I have issues of course.  There is no magic dust for longevity of a marriage.  And no slot machines are not a tool for marriage longevity.   Time is the only measurement for marriage longevity.  Invest the time now daily to reap the rewards of longevity. 

What is your plan for marriage longevity?

Keeping the Focus Where It Belongs

Luke 6:41-42  The Message (MSG)

^41-42“It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this I-know-better-than-you mentality again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your own part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Luke 6:41-42 (New International Version 1984)

⁴¹ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴² How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Words like why don’t they or you would think they _____  .  Are they common in our daily thoughts?

Read the scripture again and again.  It is a amazing that I can see to type this due to the Planks in my own eyes.  Do you tell God how your spouse falls short of your expectations or do you ask God how do I fall short of his expectations? 

What is God doing in your life?

 

A Prayer to Remember

Ephesians 5

¹ Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. ² And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.

Everyday, millions of couples wake up and evaluate their marriages by asking themselves. “Am I happier today than I was yesterday”

Our questions as Christians  should be, “Lord , how can I love my spouse today like they has never been or ever will be loved?”  When your dating
that is always on your mind.

How often is it on your mind after you get married?

I look forward to your feedback.

 

The God Centered Spouse

Week 1 Sacred Marriage  Jan 5 2012

Please read your devotion and post your comments.

Amplified Bible (AMP)   2 Corinthians 7

 ¹THEREFORE, SINCE these [great] promises are ours, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates and defiles body and spirit, and bring [our] consecration to completeness in the [reverential] fear of God.

BCM “Basic Control Model”  How often do we focus on the symptons in marriage:

** We  need to improve our communication

** We need to get better at handling conflict

** We need to show more appreciation for each other

** We need to work harder at keeping the romance alove in out relationship

Or should we look at the Problem?

In the Devotion for this week the idea is to replace the BCM -the basic control module.  The soultion

for the BCM for marriage is our “Spiritual Motivation”The focus question is “Are you a God-centered spouse?